Wearable Rock Guitar T-Shirt
February 20, 2010
We don’t throw around the phrase Best T-Shirt Ever lightly here at Best. T-Shirts. Ever, but the Electric Rock Guitar Shirt from ThinkGeek is a definite contender for this most honored distinction. Are you sitting down? Because what I’m about to tell you will not only blow your mind but the minds of anyone with whom you’ve ever come in contact.
Get this, the Electric Rock Guitar Shirt is an HONEST-TO-GOD GUITAR. Well, sort of. The shirt features buttons on the “neck” of the “guitar” printed on the front. With a special magnetic pick, you can press these buttons while strumming and hear previously recorded guitar chords issue forth from a small amp that attaches to your belt. If that wasn’t enough, there are FLAMES around the guitar! Flames = More rock
I honestly cannot get over this shirt. This is some Inspector Gadget type shit, here. I would not be surprised in the least to see future rock guitarists start wearing rock guitar t-shirts on stage and playing them for millions of fans. Who wouldn’t want to see it?! The amplifier even goes up to 11, just like Nigel Tufnel’s!
Details:
Colors: Black
Sizes: S-XXL
Price: $29.99 (batteries not included)
Some shirts are made for wearing. The Electric Rock Guitar Shirt is made for rocking. Get Yours here.
Police Line T-Shirt
February 19, 2010
It’s not easy being a riot control officer. Public perception is that those who wear full-body Kevlar and shoot rubber bullets at swarming crowds are a bunch of Debbie Downers. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As evidenced by Headline Shirts’ Police Line t-shirt, these officers only want everyone in the enraged masses they douse with tear gas to have a totally amazing day and also to remember to smile. Sage advice!
Please note, the officer in this sardonic black t-shirt could have employed any number of passive aggressive messages, including but not limited to: Stop throwing rocks, please! or We’re this close to getting the real bullets! However, he takes the high road. After all, like Mom always said, if you don’t have anything nice to say…
If there were any doubts about this shirt’s goodwill, we will note that it comes with a screen-printed tagless neck, so no gratuitous itchy tag, which in many cases is just as annoying as a billy club to the solar plexus. Thank you, Sir! May we have another?
Details:
Colors: Black
Sizes: Small to XL
Price: from $19
Behind the tactical riot gear and assault rifle, we’re all just cuddle teddy bears. Freeze! You have the right to remain super-duper happy with the Police Line t-shirt!
Rock Papers Scissor T-Shirt
February 18, 2010
The game Rock, Paper, Scissor is just stimulating enough to help keep some shred of sanity during long road trips or while waiting in line with your kids to see Caillou on Ice. It’s with much appreciation, then, to see that the clever chaps over at Headline Shirts have reimagined the game in their Rock, Papers, Scissor t-shirt.
Here’s the breakdown for the new millennial version of the old classic: Rock = Crack Cocaine; Paper = Rolling Papers; Scissor = Switchblade.
It’s all easily spelled out on the shirt with big, bold pictures and rough, bulky font. How do you play? Good question. One imagines that playing any sort of “game”, though, isn’t the point with accoutrements like these. After all, who would smash $400 of sweet rock on top of someone’s knife? And shouldn’t a pipe – not rolling papers – beat crack? Who freebases with rolling papers?
Look, the point is just to do drugs, kids, or at least joke ironically about doing drugs.
Details:
Colors: Slate
Sizes: Men’s Small-2XL; Women’s Small-XL
Price: from $19
I once participated in an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for biggest Rock, Paper, Scissor game. We failed. I have to think it’d at least have been more interesting had everyone played by Headline Shirts’ Rock, Papers, Scissors shirt rules. Get yours here.
Fuck Your Good Ol’ Days T-Shirt
February 17, 2010
It ain’t like it used to be, right? WRONG! At least not according to the Fuck Your Good Ol’ Days T-Shirt by Headline Shirts. This shirt has a good point. Carpe diem, right? Seize the day, just like Robin Williams said in that movie about standing on desks. Like the old saying goes, if you look to the past, you’re doomed to repeat the future. What? Nevermind!
The point is that it’s impossible to refute what someone says about the past because you can’t go back to see if they’re right. I’m sure if we all jumped into our time machines to visit the “good old days” we’d quickly find they’re just as shitty, if not shittier than the present.
This is why we applaud this shirt featuring an off-center graphic of a man holding a sandwich board sign. Who is this guy, anyway? He looks like a traveling minstrel or carpetbagger, which is the kind of “good old days” crap we have no use for in the 21st century. The fact that he’s the one sending up the golden years is an ironic twist that is duly noted.
Details:
Colors: Slate
Sizes: Small-3XL
Price: from $19
We get it, Grandpa, you could actually understand what singers were saying back then, but seriously, Fuck Your Good Ol’ Days! Get Yours here!
Hitler Was Right T-Shirt
February 16, 2010
Adolf Hitler may have been a megalomaniacal sociopath bent on world domination and the systematic genocide of all non-Aryan races, but damn if he wasn’t spot on about donuts!
There are a number of T-Shirt Hell shirts that can be seen as… well, toeing the line, and the Hitler Was Right T-Shirt doesn’t so much toe the line as take the line and put it in a giant furnace with a bunch of other lines just because it doesn’t think lines should be around.
This shirt is bound to get a few humorless pricks fairly upset. The word “Hitler” is a connotative powder keg. You cannot attach it to anything without tripping emotional alarms, which is the beauty of the shirt. It forces people to take something they hate (see, Hitler) and marry it to something they love — donuts. (We can safely assume everyone loves donuts, even Hitler, of course.)
When certain people see “Hitler” next to that scrumptious chocolate donut (w/ sprinkles!) their heads will explode, and you’ll stand over their headless, humorless bodies and point and laugh.
Details:
Colors: All!
Sizes: S-5XL
Price: from $19
Look, nobody likes Hitler. We all agree he was a total douchebag with a dumb mustache, so get the Hitler Was Right t-shirt because you know what irony is.
