Support Our Troopas T-Shirt
March 25, 2010
It’s important that all of us, despite our personal beliefs and political affiliations, show support and gratitude for the men and women currently serving our country. According to the Support our Troopas t-shirt, it is also important that we show support and gratitude for the koopa troopas from the Super Mario Brothers franchise. I’m not really sure why koopa troopas deserve this, but surely to abstain would be considered severely unAmerican.
This shirt by Split Reason features an ostensibly stomped red koopa troopa, in that we see the shell but not its big-eyed reptilian occupant. Underneath this, the phrase “Support our troopas” appears in white stencil font with a few red stars thrown in as a patriotic kicker.
It’s an obvious play on the ubiquitous “Support our troops” refrain. Troops, troopas — the joke is too good to pass up. One imagines this shirt as particularly apropos for military-minded individuals who also enjoy playing any of the Mario Bros. video game series titles. It also fosters a sense of clemency. Koopa troopas are often portrayed as malevolent warmongers of the King Koopa regime when in reality they are only pawns in Bowser’s game.
Details:
Color: Navy
Sizes: S-XXL
Price: from $17.95
Your car needs a few more American flags on its windows, and your body needs the Support Our Troopas t-shirt.
Player Hater T-Shirt
March 24, 2010
For those of us coming of age in the mid-80s, Super Mario Brothers for the NES represented the pinnacle of video-gaming. It was also hard as balls to defeat. Times change, however. With today’s typical video game requiring some sort of military training and a degree in particle physics, most people can beat the relatively simple 8-bit Mario Bros. in five minutes or less.
Yet and still, if you do happen to die while zipping to World 8 via World 1 and 4 warp tubes, it’s likely at the hands (or wings, rather) of a flying koopa paratroopa. In other words, when you attempt to jump over a flying turtle on the large staircase at the end of a level, Mario’s shoestring — not even his shoestring, that little plastic tip at the end of a shoestring — brushes against the wispy tip of a koopa paratroopas’ feather, killing you.
This is all to say that koopa paratroopas are, in the parlance of our times, “player haters,” which lends much credence to BustedTees Player Hater t-shirt. This tee depicts koopa paratroopa v1.0, the original avian-reptilian monstrosity from Super Mario Brothers, with “player hater” written underneath. It’s a subtle, pixelated beauty.
Details:
Color: Army
Sizes: Men S-3XL; Women S-XL
Price: $20
Get the Player Hater t-shirt before someone stomps your wings off!
Money Power Woman T-Shirt
March 22, 2010
Money + Power = Woman. Donald Trump believes it. Rap artists agree. What about Mario and Luigi? Well, let’s review their day. They run around zany worlds collecting floating gold coins. They eat magical mushrooms and flora to become more powerful and develop the ability to shoot fireballs from their noses. Sometimes they even wear raccoon and frog suits, all in the name of getting the girl, regardless of what castle she’s in.
It comes as no surprise then that we have the Money Power Woman t-shirt from Split Reason. Mario and his bro Luigi are some true OGs (ie, old gods/original gangsters, what have you). They’ve been running game as Italian lotharios since Jersey Shore numbnuts like “The Situation” were greasy twinkles in their parents’ eyes. Actually, The Situation is old enough to have played Super Mario Bros. when it was released in 1985, so maybe this explains his personality. He’s merely emulating his heroes.
The shirt preaches a simple message. First you get the money (coin box), then you get the power (star invincibility), then you get the woman (Princess Peach). Simple as that, really.
Details:
Color: Charcoal
Sizes: S-XXL
Price: $18.95
WARNING: Don’t pull a King Midas and touch the princess before the star power wears off. You will kill her. Get your Money Power Woman t-shirt here.
8-Bit Imagination T-Shirt
March 2, 2010
Sometime around Super Nintendo’s Golden Eye: 007, many video game aficionados made the tough call to put down the controller for good or else succumb to a severe stroke. The graphics were becoming too amazing. The reality, too real. So much was happening on screen that players forgot to blink and would suffer acute cases of vertigo.
Gamers yearning for the graphics and medical peace of mind of yesteryear need look no further than the 8-Bit Imagination T-Shirt. In this tee, video gaming’s original tank, the 8-bit red thingy from Atari’s Combat cartridge imagines himself as a 3D Abrams tank. Old 8-Bit can’t be anything more than 25 pixels of pea-shooting power, but damn it, that’s why we love him. Still, we can’t fault Lil’ Tank for dreaming big. It’s not like many of us are entirely satisfied with our station in life, either. Also, being two-dimensional is probably a pretty big drag, what with having no depth and all.
Will 8-Bit ever achieve his dream of being a 70 ton tank? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean he should stop dreaming. Because like Thomas Jefferson once said, “Tanks can be whatever they want.” Or something.
Details:
Color: Black
Sizes: S-3XL
Price: from $15.99
Buck up, little guy. At least you’re better than Pong.
Get your 8-Bit Imagination t-shirt here.
Haduken T-Shirt
February 12, 2010
If you grew up playing Street Fighter at the arcade you’ll be very familiar that ‘Haduken’ phrase! This is Street Fighter we’re talking about, each character has like three special moves, for Ken and Ryu that included shooting a fireball out of their hands while yelling ‘HADUKEN!’ That particular move must have been used about 18 times each fight, and if Ken was fighting Ryu, that’s a hell of a lot of Hadukens!
The Haduken T-Shirt takes a funny new slant on this phenomena by including the Haduken hand positioning in a series sign language hand signs, lol!
Details
Colors: Grey
Sizes: S – XXL
Price: $19.97
Whether you just love Street Fighter, or want to help increase awareness of sign language, this is the tee for you! Get Your Haduken T-Shirt here.
