Kermit has nothing on Cookie Monster. Being green may be no bed of roses, but what’s really hard is being a blue monster with an eating disorder. It seems like everywhere he goes on 123 Sesame Street someone is yelling at Cookie Monster for eating so many cookies. He can’t get enough of those things! He has a serious problem!
Really, we should have noticed the warning signs. The manic fits of binge eating. The fact that I’m pretty sure 95% of the cookies he “ate” fell out of his mouth in crumbs. The bottom line is it shouldn’t have come to this. It shouldn’t have come to the Cookie Cutter t-shirt. In it, the lovable blue fur ball has made the ultimate decision — to take his own life. Sadly, it seems we were just moments too late. We find Cookie with the bloody razor blade still dripping in his hand, his last cookie lying poetically at his side with nary a tooth mark. The gory details are written all over his wrist.
It’s shocking, really. First David Foster Wallace, now this? Why, God, why couldn’t it have been Elmo, instead?
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Can you tell me how to get to the suicide prevention facility? Get your Cookie Cutter t-shirt here.