Political Mind T-Shirt
February 22, 2010
The Political Mind t-shirt conveys its message through the lens of phrenology, the arcane practice of deriving one’s personality traits via the shape of one’s skull. Today, we know that phrenology is a load of shiny crap and phrenologists, nothing but rakish vagabonds who deserve nothing but the worst life has to offer. We also know that the brain is actually made out of cheese and glitter.
But back to phrenology, or more specifically, the political mind. According to Headline Shirts, the mind of a politician can be phrenologically divided into measurable parts. You have your Pandering module, of course. There’s Brownnosery, Shit Slinging and Moral Flaccidity. Mommy and Daddy Issues, naturally. Then, taking up about 50% of a politician’s brain — the Bullshittal Lobe.
Obviously, some politicians may take umbrage at this shirt. They may call it “partisan” or “callous”. Well, Mr. Politician, (a) if you look near the cerebellum, at the part of the brain that probably doesn’t get used too often, you’ll notice a small module designating Integrity, which means the shirt is fair. (b) What’s callous is using tax-payer dollars to buy yachts and whores and cocaine that you snort off the whores’ asses on the poop deck.
Details:
Colors: Black
Sizes: S-3XL
Price: $19
Gerrymander your way into getting the Political Mind t-shirt here!
I Don’t Give a Shit T-Shirt
February 1, 2010
It’s a beautiful thing when a shirt says everything for you, and the I Don’t Give a Shit t-shirt says an awful lot. It’s from the good people at T-Shirt Hell, a trusted source for vitriolic apparel.
This shirt is decidedly utilitarian. It’s not interested in fashion (can we add fashion to the list?); it’s all substance with it’s white, sans serif text and “hand-written” message combo.
In an age when everyone wants you to go green or buy some starving kid in Africa a cup of coffee, it’s nice to have the option to wear this shirt rather than repeatedly ask the kind gentlemen to please leave your property before you release the dogs.
In fact, it might be a good idea to buy two shirts — one to wear, another to hang on your door. You might also want to grab one for the car, in case of emergencies, and leave one stashed at the office. People are asking for hand-outs all over the place these days. You can’t be too careful.
Details:
Colors: All
Sizes: Small to 5XL
Price: From $19
Look, you have better things to do than reject and dodge people.
Get the I Don’t Give a Shit T-Shirt here and streamline your life.
Democratic Donkey T-Shirt
January 22, 2010
In politics, there are times for reasoned debate: the calm exchange of ideas, the give and take of negotiation, the even-handed search for consensus. And then, there are times when you just want to show your opponents’ symbol with its head jammed up its poop chute.
The Democratic Donkey T-Shirt shows the familiar Democratic beast of burden bent in a vertebra-cracking way so its head is stuffed up its rear. Whether you’re a conservative angered by Democratic overreach, or a progressive furious at Democratic sellouts, this shirt should help you express your true feelings about the party of donkeys.
(By the way, I got through this whole thing without making a single “ass” double entendre. Yes, I am proud of myself.)
Details:
Colors: Black, white, kelly green, forest green, army, navy, creme, heather gray, cranberry, asphalt
Sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL
Price: From $19
Feeling political? Get your Democratic Donkey t-shirt here.
Free Tibet T-Shirt
January 20, 2010
Step right up ladies and gentlemen and feast your eyes on the magnificent Free Tibet T-Shirt from the good folks at Busted Tees.
Yes, you can have your very own Tibet absolutely free (with purchase)! Don’t settle for inferior goods like Nepal or Mongolia! Your free Tibet comes complete with snow-capped mountains (snow not guaranteed), monasteries, your own personal Sherpa, a lost valley containing an incredibly advanced civilization (map to lost valley not included), detailed directions to attaining Nirvana, all the yak butter tea you can drink — which, admittedly, is probably not a lot — and a llama dolly! Wait, what?
Manufacturer refuses to accept any responsibility if the Chinese military suddenly starts following you around and beating the snot out of you at random intervals. If this occurs, call your local United Nations office and request help. They’ll get back to you. Eventually.
Details:
Colors: Navy
Sizes: Small, medium, large, XL, XXL, XXXL
Price: $20
Don’t wait! Act now, supplies are limited*! (*Not really.)
Get your Free Tibet T-Shirt here.
