Treadmill Zombie (Eternal Exercise) T-Shirt

Do you know how much saturated fat is in brains? Through the roof, friend. There’s more fat in an average 30-year-old’s brain than 300 McDonald’s Big Macs. There’s an epidemic today, and it’s zombie obesity. Spread the word about the need for zombie fitness with the Eternal Exercise t-shirt (aka the Zombie Treadmill t-shirt).

It seems like every time you turn on the news they’re doing some story about how fat zombies are with all that footage of fat ass zombies walking around with their fat stomachs distended endlessly over their pants. Never their heads, though. You wouldn’t want to shame a zombie for being such a fat ass zombie loser asshole.

No more shame for the zombie in this t-shirt, though. He’s finally utilizing that treadmill his zombie wife bought him five years ago after his high cholesterol scare. Good for him. Exercising is definitely the way to go for a zombie because it’s not like he’s ever going to stop eating brains. What else can zombies eat? Hot Pockets? Get out of here, Jake.

The great thing is that the treadmill motor should last a long time since he’ll only use speed level 1. Zombies are comically slow!!!

Details:
Color: Silver
Sizes: S-3XL
Price: from $19.99

It’s more expensive, but get your zombie free range brains, and get your Eternal Exercise shirt here.